Pizza shop slogan:
"7 days without pizza makes one weak."
At a tire shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."
Door of a plastic surgeons office:
"Hello, can we pick your nose?"
Sign at the psychic's hotline:
"Don't call us, we'll call you."
At a laundry shop:
"How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?"
At a towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
Billboard on the side of the road:
"Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs."
On an electricians truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
In a nonsmoking area:
"If we see smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
On maternity room door:
"Push, Push, Push."
At an optometrists office
"If you don't see what your looking for you've come to the right place."
On a taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
On a Butchers window:
"Let me meat your needs."
On a fence:
"Salesmen welcome, dog food is expensive."
At a car dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
Outside a muffler shop:
"No appointment necessary, we hear you coming."
Outside a hotel:
"Help! We need inn-experienced people."
On a desk in a reception room:
"We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left."
In a veterinarians waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes, Sit! Stay!"
At the electric company:
"We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't you will be."
On the door of a computer store:
"Out for a quick byte."
In a restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry, come on in and get fed up."
Inside a bowling alley:
"Please be quiet, we need to hear a pin drop."
In the front yard of a funeral home:
"Drive carefully, we'll wait."
In a counselors office:
"Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional.
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